she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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