How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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