Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
