i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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