Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
