Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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