I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
