I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
