I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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