You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
