Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
