don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
