Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
