a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
