glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How drunk are you?
Completed.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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