Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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