$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
