I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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