There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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