Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
