Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm too high and old for this...
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