help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
