I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
