I need help removing her.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
