what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Brb crying the tears of my youth
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
