thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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