he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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