she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
