You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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