hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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