I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
