in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
