everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
