What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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