There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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