Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize