He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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