He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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