I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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