am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
