sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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