either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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