it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
