Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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