are you so shy because you have an std?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Your penis caused this!
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