I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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