remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
