He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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