M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
