My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
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