so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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