Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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