ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
