Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
