dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My penis needs a shock collar
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
