How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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