It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
false alarm, still single
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