It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
