i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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