I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
