I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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