I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
